That is not "The Bird of Paradise"

My neighbor told me to stop lighting fireworks but I didn't listen!

A neti pot would work much better.

I was trying to "blow" my nose...

That's what they call the big bang theory!

It was the only way they would give me an appointment to see you today.

I would have gone to quick care but they told me it has a time delay fuse so hurry up.

Under Obama care this ts the best we can do for a nose job .

This looks like a preexisting condition. I guess I am forced to treat you

I have never seen a crack or blow addiction like this. We better call Dr. Drew.

"That's a wick-ed growth you've got there."

I told you a tampon would stop a bloody nose.

I'm sorry but hospital policy states all co-pays must be paid prior to service....

"By not treating you, I am adding chlorine to the gene pool."

I think that Sudafed would work alot better at stemming the flow !

Allen Calvin

When I said "You should blow your nose." I meant with a tissue.

Relax, it could have been a nut cracker.

"This ought to finally clear up those sinuses!"

"Next time your wife tells you she wants to spark something inside of you... run!"

There is a lot easier ways to remove unwante nose hair.

so your telling me it hurts to sit?

That's one way to blow your nose!!

So...what seems to be the problem?

THIS is why fireworks are banned in some towns.

Tell me again what you said when the British Bloke offered you a banger on July 4th..?

Do you have Obamacare or Romneycare?

I didn't mean to literally "blow your nose".

LOL

As soon as we hear back from your provider we can go ahead and cut the wick.

Let me guess you just got back from the queens jubilee or you're trying out for jackass 6

I don't think Katy Perry meant to take the lyrics literally when she sings "Baby You're a Firework"...

I may think this is funny, but it-snot!

"So, Mr. Jones. What exactly brings you into the office today?":

Sorry sir, I can't fix stupid.

"This IS the recommended procedure under Obamacare....but hey, you should be thankful we are only correcting your deviated septum.....the guy in the next room is in for his hemorrhoids."

I'll send the nurse in here to draw some blood & see if we can get this thing figured out. We should have the results back in 1 or 2 days.

Who did this to you, Mr. Madigan?